In honor I hold myself for I am the Earth.
All decisions I make bring wisdom.
These lines from a prayer that is with me every day have been especially meaningful on this journey with cancer.
I am the Earth and of the Earth. We all are. Everything we eat and drink comes from her. Honoring myself is to honor her. Honoring her is to honor myself. So what does this honoring look like? It’s different for everyone but for me it is opening to the power she holds and the healing energy of her natural and organic bounty. The decision I made to engage in the cannabinoid protocol would bring healing…it would also bring unexpected wisdom.
As a child of the sixties I’ve had my share of hallucinogenic experiences. Although it was decades ago I would be grateful for those experiences. The protocol calls for starting with a very small amount of the reduced cannabis oil and gradually increasing that dosage over time. But small as the dose was the reaction I had that first night was nothing short of horrific. It was like my worst experience with altered states of consciousness. It was intense and dark. Fortunately my beloved husband stayed up with me much of the night and talked me through it like the former drug counselor he is.
The next day as I was trying to process this it came to me. Several years ago, in preparation for an intensive three-day prayer vigil, I had given up as a willing sacrifice the limited involvement I had at the time with marijuana. I effectively cut the cords on that relationship. And now, without any effort at reconciliation, I was stepping back into that relationship. I had work to do. Over the next few days I spent time connecting with the spirit of the plant and was able to re-establish a relationship based on healing, not recreation. A relationship that honors the gifts of the plant and accepts the energy that comes with those gifts.
I’ve learned and continue to learn so much on this journey. But information is not knowledge and knowledge is not wisdom. The gift of the cannabis plant was healing, it was also a profound deepening of the wisdom of being in right relationship with the Earth.