Does This Memory Make Me Look Fat?

January 6, 2022


Yes. In fact it does.

Lord, how much cottage cheese we ate as children. We were constantly on a diet and the family narrative was that we were all overweight. I absolutely know that this and other messages of not being enough, not being good enough, were delivered from a place of wanting us to strive for perfection. It was a narrative my folks believed would serve us as we would grow into adulthood. And those messages became embedded.

As the eldest sibling, I ended up with boxes of family photos and slides. I am just now making my way through the seemingly endless number of slides that are the record of our growing up years. I was stunned to see images of us as kids. We were, in fact, not fat. This image of me from high school stopped me cold. Fat? Seriously?

As I navigate the realms of my sacred sovereignty, it’s important to recognize those voices and narratives from childhood. It’s important to discern which ones serve me and which ones don’t. It’s important to purge those that don’t, to honor the genesis of those messages and release them.

Those messages and memories that have so shaped my life. Those memories that have shaped how I see the world and myself in it. Those memories that make me look fat.

And so I am releasing those childhood messages and healing those childhood wounds. For my sovereignty, my sacred sovereignty cannot flourish with those messages running around in my head. My sacred sovereignty invites, indeed calls for, messages of being enough. Being absolutely enough.

Enough. Not supreme excellence. But enough to manifest my sacred sovereign self.

Judith –

4 thoughts on “Does This Memory Make Me Look Fat?

  1. I’ve enjoyed reading about personal sovereignty as you own and describe it. We do get caught by messages in childhood, especially the redundant kind that go deep. I appreciate the health you prescribe as an alternative, a remedy.

  2. Oh I had to laugh! That’s the story of my life too and it amazes me how strong those messages are…just another way (effective until we break the chains) to disempower us. I refuse to give those messages any power any more! Thanks, Judith, for insisting on your sovereignty and therefore ours.

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